here’s to moving forward.

It’s sad how sometimes the people who you used to value most, the ones who meant the world to you, the ones who you loved most, can turn against you so easily.  These girls, I grew up with them, yet they turn against me in a heartbeat over a boy.  Maybe it was my mistake, but they know me well enough to know it was an honest mistake.  There were no bad intentions; rather, there are no bad intentions.  It’s sad, really, how you can believe that people will always be there for you, then you realize they don’t give a shit.  It’s sad when you realize how much your life has changed, and how much you wish you could go back and fix it.  But even more than that, it’s amazing when you realize that you can move forward.

“You tried so hard to be someone
That you forgot who you are
You tried to fill some emptiness
‘Til all you had spilled over
Now everything’s so far away
That you don’t know where you are

When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
For you to belong to

When it’s hard to be yourself
It’s not to be someone else
Still everything’s so far away
That you forget where you are”

-Hold On, Jet. <3

The mediocracy of my life sometimes amazes me.  I feel that I’m destined for such great things.  Everyone feels that way, though.  And the majority of us end up working for some company, dragging our asses through the day at work, hating life.  I wonder if J.K. Rowling or Bill Gates thought that they’d ever be someone.  

Sometimes, my life feels incredibly hopeless.  Someone’s sucked all the fight out of me and I’m left here, blowing all my money on weed and going nowhere.  But I have to go somewhere. I can’t stay here in this shit town forever, no fucking way.  I will turn my life from mediocre to astounding.

I just haven’t gotten there yet.

run away.

There are so many places I’d like to be right now.

And none of them are here.

Not in this house surrounded by people who dislike me, not in this shithole town filled with people who have used and abandoned me.

I want to go to New York City, to start all over with brand new opportunities.  If I want to do big things, a big city is the best place to start, right?

Or perhaps I’d go to Australia, so fucking far away no one could find me.  A land truly filled with nothing but a bunch of exotic animals.  I can dig that.

Or maybe I’d just get in the car and drive, all the way across the country, no destination in mind, just making stops wherever I please, and drifting to wherever the wind takes me.

All I really want is to not be here.

But, if I am to be that strong young heroine I so desire, I must stay here and face all the shit that awaits me.  I shall do so, with a smile on my face.

Here’s to facing problems.

everyone listen. You are valuable.

If there is one thing I hate, it’s suicide. I wish I could just make everyone realize what they’re worth, and that they deserve to be here, to be alive. Why do people feel like that’s the only way out? Every single one of you have earned your place in this world. Don’t ever give it up. You may feel like everything is shitty and broken now, but it can’t remain that way forever. This too shall pass. Things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever. I just want everyone to know, that you are valuable. You are worth something to the world. And you are not alone.